Good Communication

Communication is one of the most important parts of friendship. It means talking about your feelings. It means saying what you expect from your friend. It means telling them when you are upset. It means telling them what you like about them. Sometimes it means checking to make sure you have understood your friend. Good communication is honest and kind.

BUT communication is also about listening. Listen to your friend. Pay attention when they tell you they are upset. Listen when they tell you what they expect. Listen to what is important to your friend. People do not always use words to communicate, even when they talk well. Pay attention to your friend’s ‘body language.’

This means paying attention to:

  • Eye contact: Are they able to look at you? Can you look at them?
  • Facial expression: What does their face tell you? Do they look happy? Do they look sad? Do they look upset?
  • Posture: do they look stiff? Do they seem to be standing as if they are uncomfortable?

If you are not certain you have understood, tell your friend what you think they are saying. Ask them if you have not got it right.

Do you or your friend communicate nonverbally? You can still make your feelings understood and so can they. You may need to be extra sensitive to little signals. Make sure that your friend understands your feelings. Make sure you understand theirs. If you or they are having trouble, get some help. Ask someone who understands your communication and your friend’s communication.

Communication also means making clear plans. If your plans change, make sure you tell your friend right away.

Good Communication Avoids Misunderstanding

Ram’s friend Henri asked Ram if he wanted to go to the musical at their old school next Saturday. Ram said Yes. Henri said he would get tickets for both of them. Henri bought two tickets for the afternoon show. But he forgot to tell Ram this. Ram assumed the performance would be at night. He made another plan for Saturday afternoon. When Henri called to pick Ram up, Ram was not home. Henri went to the musical alone, and Ram missed the musical. They were both disappointed.

Kim and Rebecca
Kim and Rebecca

Kim invited her friend Rebecca to help choose her wedding gown. She knew Rebecca wanted to go. Rebecca’s big smile told her this. Rebecca does not speak, but she still shows what she wants. She does this by changing her facial expression. Kim is a good friend. She pays attention to Rebecca’s smiles and frowns and the look in her eyes. This is how she knows how Rebecca feels.

Learning Social Skills
Learning Social Skills

Anne took a “social integration” course. It helped her learn how to speak with others. She learned to be relaxed in conversations. She now feels more comfortable talking to people. This makes it easier to meet new people. It makes it easier to make new friends.

Share |
| Page Text Size + -
Being ThoughtfulManners and Etiquette