Needing Support

“My son has some behavioural challenges and needs constant support in public”

Families point out the dampening effect on friendship-formation with other young people that the presence of a support person can have. A lot depends on the sensitivity of the support person. Paying support people to show how to be friends with your young person may not be ideal, but sometimes it is a good way–even the only way–for a friendship to begin and also the only way to model for others how they could relate and enjoy being with your family member.

Considerations in choosing a support person:

1) Look for someone who can

  • see the gifts your family member brings to a relationship,

  • show that it is enjoyable to be with them

  • model, facilitate and encourage friendships

  • inconspicuously assist your family member as needed

2) If possible, find someone who is a peer or is close to the same age as your family member and who will be able to blend into a group of peers. Ask a teacher or former teacher for suggestions.

3) If an adult is needed, the key is finding someone who is willing and able to fade into the background whenever possible, to allow others to relate to your young person. Make it clear that this facilitation of encounters with others is part of their job.

4) Allow time for a comfortable relationship to develop between the support person and your family member before putting them in situations where you hope the support person can model friendship for others.

5) Siblings’ needs should be respected, but at the right age and if they are willing they can be a great asset. Siblings usually come with a ready-made social circle. Also, they may be good models, helping their sibling learn what friends do and talk about.

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Paid Companions Becoming Friends

“These young people accompany my son with payment on the regular evenings out that come along during the academic year. These friendships are not always lasting but they help my son to develop his social side and to get to know more young people.”

Parent, QC

“My daughter uses a wheelchair…

…She can’t go on outings with other youth unless we drive her in our special van. Even though she can be at an event on her own, accessibility of venues where she might meet friends is also often a problem.”

A few suggestions:

  • Look for neighbourhood social opportunities that are walk-able/wheel-able distance.

  • Host a regular games or movie evening and invite both parents and peers.

  • Seek out families that have the same transportation issues as yours. They may be able to share rides, and their homes are likely accessible.

  • Get involved with other families and organizations advocating for accessibility in your community—or start your own advocacy group. The Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms and the UN Declaration on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities will lend support to your efforts.

  • High status activities tend to attract the attention and respect and acceptance of others if you can find them: tae-kwan-do, wheelchair skiing, sailing.

You will likely have to invite potential friends over to your house. Reciprocal visits to their homes may be impossible. You may have to do a disproportionate amount of driving.

SB, ON

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Adapted Sailing - An Accessible Activity

One family member talks about the great opportunity adapted sailing has provided for their family member in terms of making friends. “My child meets young people and he talks about this activity to encourage them to participate. He also talked at his school about it. His interest in this activity increases his self-esteem as well as creating relationships.”

Diane, Family Member, QC

Access to Travel
Access to Travel (253.04KB, PDF)

This gives you a link to a helpful transportation website. It will tell you what kind of transportation is available in your community. It will tell you if it is accessible or not.

Accessible Recreation
Accessible Recreation (90.66KB, PDF)

This document lists various organizations that are working to make recreation more accessible for all Canadians.

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